Answering machine at a psychiatric facility
– If you suffer from obsessive-compulsive disorder, keep pressing 1.
– If you suffer from multiple personality disorder, press 2 and 3 simultaneously.
– If you suffer from hallucinations, press 4 and you (and only you) will see an orange crocodile.
– If you suffer from schizophrenia, please ask your imaginary friend to press 5 for you.
– If you suffer from depression, it does not matter what you press. Nothing can be done…
– If you are indecisive, please leave a message after the tone; or before the tone; or during the tone; or don’t leave a message at all!