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A clinical trial for a new medication is taking place. Patients are divided in two groups-one taking the medication, and one taking a placebo. A patient asks the doctor:

“Why did you change my medication?”

“What made you think I did that?” replies the doctor.

“Well, yesterday when I threw the pills in the toilet, they were floating. Today, they sank to the bottom!”


A pharmaceutical rep visited a physician to pitch some new drugs marketed especially for women having troubles with their husbands:

DIRECTRA – a dose of this drug given to men before leaving on car trips caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask directions when they got lost

PROJECTRA – Men given this experimental new drug were far more likely to actually finish a household repair project before starting a new one.

CHILDAGRA – Men taking this drug reported a sudden, over- whelming urge to perform more child-care tasks – especially cleaning up spills and “little accidents.”

COMPLIMENTRA – In clinical trials, 82 percent of middle-aged men administered this drug noticed that their wives had a new hairstyle. Currently being tested to see if its effects extend to noticing new clothing.

BUYAGRA – Married and otherwise attached men reported a sudden urge to buy their sweeties expensive jewelry and gifts.


Doctor’s sometimes use too many medical words for the average person to understand. Let’s hope you don’t make the following mistakes in your understanding of what he/she is saying!

Artery…………………………..The study of paintings.
Bacteria…………………………Back door to a cafeteria.
Cesarean Section…………….A neighborhood in Rome.
CT scan………………………….Searching for kitty.
Dilate……………………………To live long.
Enema…………………………..Not a friend.
Hangnail…………………………What you hang your coat on.
Labor Pain……………………….Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff……………………A doctor’s cane.
Nitrates………………………….Cheaper than day rates.
Pap Smear………………………A fatherhood test.
Pelvis……………………………Second cousin to Elvis.
Secretion…………………………Hiding something.
Tablet……………………………A small table.
Varicose………………………….Near by / close by.

 

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